Easing The Hurt
by CarlislesLover
Summary: Carlisle has gone missing and Esme is crushed. She tries to find a way that will make her forget about Carlisle. Will Jasper be able to help Esme forget?
1. Chapter 1: Running

**Disclaimer:All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. The awesome Stephenie Meyer owns all Twilight Saga content!**

_**Chapter 1: Running**_

I always loved running around the Cullen property. We had so much land around us and there was no way that I couldn't take advantage of it. I liked to run every day. I had to keep my body in fine shape if there was anyway that I would be able to recover from Carlisle's disappearance.

My husband, Carlisle, had left one day. He said something about Italy and then I never heard from him again. Alice said that she saw a vision where Carlisle had been executed, and since then she hasn't been able to pick up anything on him. I didn't want to know the details, I would just go on pretending that he would be back. He would never leave me alone and he would be back. There is no way that it would be like that for him in his last moments.

I took Carlisle's absence hard. He was everything to me in my life and now he was gone. I wasn't sure how I would go on with my life. I found that if I did the opposite of things that I enjoyed with Carlisle that I could forget about him for a moment at a time. I know that he would always be in my thoughts since he made me who I was in the first place.

I wish I hadn't been so stubborn to him when I was first changed. I wish that I would have fallen in love with him right away. I thought we had forever to be together but I was wrong. Wrong. Esme has always been called the passionate one, she's always nice, always loving, always caring. But right now that was the last thing on her mind. I made sure that I would at least try and forget about Carlisle during this run. It should be easy right?

I put both of the ear buds from iPod in my ear and cranked up the music, I wanted it so loud that I could hear nothing else but the beating of the music. I knew that no matter what I would still probably be able to hear everything around me but I thought maybe it was an idea I would try. I could still hear every time my foot hit the path, hearing that steady beat I wanted to run faster. I was concentrating on the noise it would make. I am sure that that's what my heart once sounded like too when it was still beating.

I tried to deny the flashbacks in my head, the first time Carlisle and I kissed when he ended up taking me right there in the living room. I knew it would be trouble when he ripped off my dress by accident. But it wasn't like I didn't want it to happen. The passion that I had pent up came out for him. I never had anyone care for me like he did. And the way he touched me...the world could crumble around me and I would never notice. I loved that about Carlisle, he made me forget everything. I could really use him now while I'm trying to forget about him.

I couldn't run hard enough or fast enough now. Why couldn't I run faster? I wanted to be just like the wind. Then maybe I could float away. Even being able to climb trees right now didn't give me solace. Having all this power and all the money in the world couldn't make me forget.

I stopped in right in my tracks because I caught a scent of something I was very used to. What was this smell? And why did I know the smell but couldn't put it together? As I slowly started to turn around I saw him. He was standing up against the tree with a sly smirk on his face.

"Oh Esme, how nice it is to see you here. I have been waiting for you."


	2. Chapter 2: Meeting

_**Chapter 2: Meeting**_

I was still in shock when I saw him standing there. I didn't think he noticed me in our day to day life to begin with. Jasper just stood there and grinned.

"Esme. I was waiting here for you."

"But how did you know I was going to run here today? I change my route every day so no one can track me. I wouldn't want to be attacked when I wasn't expecting it," I said to him.

"I wanted to see how you were. How you really are. I know this has to be tough. I know when Alice is gone it's like a piece of me is gone. And now that you really don't know what happened to Carlisle you have to be hurting."

"I am Jasper. I miss him so much. I wonder if there is any way that I can get a hold of him. I always thought that we were connected somehow and that if one of us wasn't right the other one wouldn't be either."

"I know Alice said that she saw him die. I hope for your sake it didn't happen. But I guess we will never know until we go out there or he comes back," Jasper said with concern in his voice. He came up to me and took my hand, holding it tight. "It's okay to feel something. You know what? I'll be right here to pick up the pieces for you."

"Really, Jasper you don't have to," I said to him holding his hand tightly.

"I am, I will. I'll do it for you because you have done so much for me."

I put my head on his shoulder and let him comfort me as he wrapped his arms around me. It was nice to have someone that you care about so much just hold you. I don't think anyone else had offered to be there for me like he did. But Jasper was always good that way. He would go the extra mile to make sure you were okay.

"Let's start walking home, I know that everyone else is probably missing you right about now." Jasper said with a sigh.

"I know. I really haven't been paying attention to anyone lately. I have been trying not to hurt so bad." I said to him.

"Well, from now on you put a smile on your face, and pretend you are okay. Because once you start really talking to me you will finally be okay. I promise." Jasper said hopefully.

"Okay, if you put it that way I'll race you home. And I get a head start." I said with a smile forming on my lips.

"You are on Esme, and don't worry about that head start, I'll catch up with you in no time."

I started running as soon as he started talking and true to his word we were running side by side. I felt exhilarated and free. For the first time in a while I felt like I would be okay. With Jasper's help I could get over this. I could make this hurt for Carlisle go away.

I wasn't sure how I lucked out having such great children, Edward helped me laugh, Bella helped me be nurturing, Alice helped me not be a fashion mistake, Rosalie helped me spend my money, Emmett helped me love...and now Jasper was becoming the one I knew I could tell anything to.

My life was starting to look up...but I still missed Carlisle like crazy.


	3. Chapter 3: Thinking

_**Chapter 3: Thinking **_

I wasn't sure to think about Jasper's offer. He was going out of his way for me. And what would Alice think when she found out that Jasper and I were talking like this? I just ended up thinking about it and I would worry about it later.

I was in the kitchen cooking some cookies for the wolves and dancing to the music when I felt someone come up behind me and put their hands on my waist. For one quick second I thought it was Carlisle's hands that were touching me. But as soon as I inhaled I knew it was Jasper.

He whispered in my ear, "Just pretend I'm Carlisle, close your eyes and pretend."

I wasn't sure if I could just let go and let Jasper pick up what I needed. I closed my eyes, bit my lip and nodded my head. I whispered back, "For you, I will pretend."

I felt Jasper put his arms around me and bury his face in my hair. "Esme, you smell so good. I have surely missed you."

"I have missed you too. Just hold me and dance with me." I said.

Jasper made me sway with the music holding me tight against him. He made sure that he stayed behind me so I couldn't see his face. While the music pounded on, I let the memories of Carlisle come flooding back. I grabbed Jasper's hands and put them on my chest. I needed him to touch me like Carlisle once did.

"Oh Esme, I love the feeling of you under my hands."

I then pulled his hands over to go on top of my wet spot. I am sure he could feel it through my jeans. I didn't want him to touch me there under my panties. I just needed to feel him there touching me. He slowly moved his hand around the spot. Making me feel like I was going to climax. As I was getting ready to climax he moved his hands away. He turned me around and touching my face and said, "Not so fast Esme. I know you want all of me but not today. Just let me hold you. Breathe you in. Love you back."

I wasn't sure who was talking anymore. Whether it was Jasper or if he was speaking like Carlisle to me. I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face next to his neck. I wanted to kiss his neck so bad. I wanted to feel his lips next to mine. I wanted all of him. And by that I meant Jasper and not Carlisle.

"Jasper, I want to touch my lips to your neck. I want to take you all in. I want to taste you on my tongue."

"In due time, just take your time and enjoy it. Enjoy the process. I'll be here for you forever. You have all the time in the world to taste me. But right now, I just want you to hold me."

I let him hold me, I let him rock me. I knew that in due time I would have all of him. But for now, he could ease my hurts like this. I guess there were worse things that could happen.


End file.
